Live.

Redwood. May 18, 2025 at the Nederlander Theater

Final Performance.

*** 有雷慎入 ***

是把《冰雪奇緣》的 Let It Go 唱得紅遍大街小巷的 Idina Menzel！前一個禮拜抽中樂透，卻沒有及時買票😢。但實在不想錯過親眼目睹巨星風采的機會，又很好奇紅衫這個主題會怎麼被呈現，就決定狠下心直接去時代廣場的TKTS買票，對自己好一點了。排隊買票的過程中，一個友善的工作人員跟我聊了一點點這部劇。他感覺有特別注意不要暴雷，但也特別請我要帶著開放的心胸去看這部劇。我自己當下是滿頭問號，想說我看每部沒看過的劇都會很期待很開放，為何這需要特別提醒。後來才知道這部劇的評價好壞參半，甚至有網紅不喜歡到說這部劇沒意義。也許是這樣所以票房不是特別好，也沒有拿到任何東尼獎提名，才上演三個月就要收場了。我想票房不好的最大原因，應該是因為這部劇太過悲傷。大家花了大錢， 應該都想要個開開心心的回憶。我其實也不喜歡悲劇，但這部劇讓我大哭之後，我還是覺得它精彩到不行。

一整片的白色舞台，讓人一進到劇院裡就摸不著頭緒。大小不一的巨型白板，搭配有著年輪紋路的白色地板，感覺比較適合後現代舞的表演😅。不過這強烈耀眼的白色，和音樂劇剛開始的黑夜，還有這部劇的故事，形成了好棒的對比。原來這是個關於失去的故事。是人世間最悲傷的故事。是媽媽失去小孩的故事。Idina飾演的主角Jesse，因為將近一年前失去兒子Spencer太過悲傷，某一天無預警地拋下工作和女同志伴侶Mel，一路長途跋涉從紐約開車到北加州的一片紅衫森林裡。在森林裡遇到了照顧紅衫的工作人員Finn和Becca。看著他們爬樹，提出自己也想要爬紅衫的請求。就在與Finn、Becca、還有紅衫的相處中，開啟了一段自我療癒的旅程。

紅杉第一次出現，就帶著震撼感佔滿了整個舞台。原來大小不一的巨型白板是用來把巨大森林帶進劇院的LED牆。雖然和我2018年去Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks看到紅衫的震撼感不太一樣，這樣把大自然帶進劇院的方式我覺得很可以！而且中央巨型白板的圓弧設計，讓它可以旋轉，也創造出了特別的演員登場方式。另一個我覺得很優秀的巨大LED牆運用，是那些個勾起回憶的瞬間。巨大的LED牆在一片黑暗中，閃現了橫跨舞台的白色閃電。因為想起就只需要那麼一瞬間，再次感受失去的痛楚也只需要那麼一瞬間。

這部劇的故事、音樂、歌詞、編舞，還有演員的表演也都好優秀。雖然後來發現網路上有人給了Idina的表演一些負評，但我看的最終場，Idina的表現真的不愧是一個傳奇。有兩次為了太熱情的觀眾歡呼，在0.5秒的短暫時間裡跟觀眾互動，隨即又立刻轉換回角色的情緒，帶領觀眾回到故事本身。這部劇三首讓我掉淚的歌，兩首就是Idina的Jesse唱的。

• The Stars -- 以溫柔的口吻唱出對星空的懇求，希望星星們能幫助她入睡，不用擔心睡著之後可能會做的夢。

• No Repair -- 原來Spencer從USC大學畢業之後，對工作"過敏"，在家無所事事了一段時間。終於Jesse和Mel覺得這樣下去不行，給Spencer下了最後通牒和一筆錢。Spencer於是決定回到加州找工作。卻在到加州沒幾天之後，因為藥物過量致死。這首No Repair，是Jesse得到允許，在紅杉樹上的平台過夜的時候，對著漆黑的森林，唱出自己的悲傷、自責、和絕望。在半空中的Jesse，一片黑的劇院，一盞白色的聚光燈，再單以鋼琴陪伴，一個母親的心就這樣碎滿了黑暗💔。"There is no end to your grief, because there is no end to your love." 最後的超長音love就像是Jesse給Spencer的愛一樣，一直在，但也只能消失在一片漆黑之中😭😭😭。

• Still -- Jesse還在樹上的時候，剛好遇到森林大火。幸運熬過大火之後，Spencer出現鼓勵Jesse(應該是Jesse自己的幻想)，跟Jesse說藥物過量是個意外。然後唱了這首Still，希望Jesse好好活下去。Zachary Noah Piser的清澈嗓音好適合這首歌。而且這首歌的詞寫得好好，把Jesse的心情抓得很好，也提醒Jesse她的生命中還有很多珍貴的人事物。

  
  

其他沒有讓我掉淚的歌也很精彩，都充滿著角色和紅衫的故事。Khaila Wilcoxon的Becca唱的Little Redwood，把紅衫的兩千年成長過程跟人類歷史交織在一起，搭配很有原始感的打擊樂，和LED牆的視覺演繹，這濃縮的時間軸呈現了人類的渺小，也展現了巨大紅衫歷經風雨後仍然屹立不搖的寧靜感。雖然舞蹈不是這部劇的主打，但Finn、Becca、和Jesse爬樹的動作設計，還有Mel和Spencer的一小段熱舞，都為這部劇添加了不少亮點。

買最後一場秀的決定實在是太值得。除了看到精采的表演外，也幸運聽到導演Tina Landau的感言。原文真的很美，我把自己整理的大概逐字稿放在Still的歌詞後面。導演許下了4個願望，這4個願望都跟紅衫的特性有關：

1. 希望我們都擁有像紅杉一樣的韌性來面對困難 -- 紅杉是個特別耐火的樹種，甚至需要森林大火來讓他們的種子散播出去。在大火過後，他們會迎來轉變和新生。

2. 希望我們都能照顧彼此，因為夥伴讓我們更強大 -- 雖然紅杉可以長到100公尺，他們的根通常不會深到超過4公尺的地底。不過他們的根會持續往四周延伸，遇到其他樹的根，就會跟那些根纏繞起來。這樣的龐大的樹根網路，是讓每棵樹都能站穩，好好往上成長的密技。

3. 希望我們都能帶著逝者好好前進 -- 紅衫樹幹的中心(心木)，雖然是已經死掉的部分，卻也是提供結構支撐的重要部分。逝者也會一直是我們心裡的一部份，支撐著我們前進。

4. 希望我們都能成為別人的養分 -- 紅杉倒下後，得經過幾個世紀才會被分解。在這漫長的歲月裡，紅杉將會孕育無數的新生命。希望我們也都能成為別人生命裡的那道光。

都寫了這麼多，還是覺得漏了好些可以多說一點的地方。因為這部劇就是這麼又大又完整又深刻。真的不懂東尼獎評審們看到了什麼。《紅衫》，我心目中2025東尼獎的巨大遺珠。❤️💔

October 2018 in Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks

世界上最大的樹 World's largest tree by volume

Big Trees Trail next to the Giant Forest Museum

Still

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKXUY3mVKSw

[Spencer]

You faced the fire, but lived to see today 妳面對了火焰，但活下來看到今天

I know you're tired of trying to push through all the pain 我知道妳累了，試著撐過所有的苦痛

There's only ash now where I used to be 我曾經存在的地方，現在只剩灰燼

You think there's nothing left 妳覺得什麼都不剩了

But there's a lot 但其實還有很多

Trust me 相信我

I know it's not the life you planned 我知道這不是妳計畫中的人生

The life you dreamed when it began 那個妳剛開始夢想的人生

But this is what, this is what is 但這就是，就是現實

And what is, is all you've got 而現實，就是妳所擁有的

There's still the light 光還在

There's still the sky 天空還在

There's still the leaves that rustle in the breeze 樹葉還在微風中沙沙作響

Still days to spend 還有時光可以消磨

Still hands to hold 還有手得緊握

You still have the time 妳還擁有時間

You still have the breath 妳還擁有呼吸

You still run away from death 妳還是在逃避死亡

But everybody dies 但每個人都會死

So while you're still alive, live 所以當妳還活著，就好好活一場

While you're still alive, live 當妳還活著，就好好活一場

It seems they're gone when someone dies 當一個人死掉，他們好像就消失了

We change into forms that you don't recognize 我們變成妳不認識的樣子

I stay alive inside your memory 我還是活在妳的記憶裡

In the photographs, I'm in all you see 在那些照片裡，也在妳看到的所有東西裡

I know I'm not the son you dreamed 我知道我不是妳夢想中的兒子

The son you hoped that I would be 那個妳希望我能長成的兒子

And I was not the son you thought 而我不是妳以為的兒子

But I was the son you got 但我是妳擁有的兒子

Still standing here 還站在這裡

Still close to you 還離妳很近

Still want the chance to cheer you when you dance 還是想要在妳跳舞的時候為妳歡呼

Still counting days 還在數日子

Still holding hands 還在手牽手

You still have the time 妳還有時間

You still have the breath 妳還有一口氣

So why run away from death? 所以為什麼要逃避死亡？

Yes, everybody dies, so while you're still alive 對，每個人都會死，所以當妳還活著

Live, live big and full and deep 好好地活一場，活得又大又完整又深刻

And when you cry, let yourself weep 而當妳哭泣，就讓自己大哭一場

And when you laugh, laugh like hell 而當妳笑，就笑得開懷

And when you're mad, go 'head and yell 而當妳生氣，就放開大吼

Really take in all you see 真的把一切收進眼底

Every person that you'll ever meet 妳遇見的每個人

In the time left in your life, why not truly be 在妳還有的時間裡，為什麼不真的

Alive? 好好活著

There's still the leaves that rustle in the breeze 樹葉還在微風中沙沙作響

Still days to spend 還有時光可以消磨

Still hands to hold 還有手得緊握

[Spencer, Jesse]

You still have the time, you still have the breath 妳還有時間，妳還有一口氣

(I still have the time, I still have the breath) (我還有時間，我還有一口氣)

So don't run away from death 所以不要逃避死亡

(So don't run away from death) (所以不要逃避死亡)

[Spencer]

Yes, everybody dies 對，每個人都會死

So while you're still alive 所以當妳還活著

[Jesse]

Yes, everybody dies 對，每個人都會死

So while I'm still alive 所以當我還活著

Live 好好地活一場

=====

Director Tina Landau's 4 wishes based on the redwoods:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJ0tJnDuYfS/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

1. Like the redwoods, may we find the resilience to weather our storms and hardships; and understand the toughest obstacles we face will also bring us growth and transformation.

2. Like the redwoods, may we take care of each other and know that we are strongest together; may our roots reach out to our families and friends and communities and the earth. And may we feel and celebrate the connections of everything to everything.

3. Like the redwoods, may our heartwoods carry who or what has been lost inside of us; we are all made up of the bits and pieces of everyone who has come into our lives. And while things, or people, or a show come to an end, they are also never gone.

4. When a redwood dies, it takes centuries to fully decompose. The tree becomes part of a larger ecosystem and a home for all sorts of new life. Sprouts appear at its base. And around the tree that's lying, and supposedly dead, a new generation rises up, creating a circle of trees, that are often referred to as fairy rings, or family circles. An actor named Wade McCollum wrote this to me just the other day, and I want to share it. "I love that the possibility exists that a tree's destiny, perhaps like your show's, is to gather as much biomass as possible during its life. And then only in its death, it may truly fulfill its destiny. In dying, it becomes an infinite hotel. [During a tree's endless return] to soil, as she gives and gives in an almost invisible stillness, a profound dynamism arises. Perhaps in the closing of this behemoth Redwood, your show, it too will become an infinite hotel, for hopeful, hearted optimists and dreamers, signaling a new way to hang hats, make music, and scale narratives."

=====

*** Spoiler Alert ***

It's Idina Menzel who sang Let It Go in Frozen! I missed the window to buy the lottery ticket a week prior😢. Since I really didn't want to miss the chance to see a Broadway superstar, plus I was very curious about how the theme of redwood would be presented, I decided to give myself a little treat and directly went to TKTS in Times Square. As I was waiting in line to get a ticket, a friendly staff member talked to me about this show a little bit. I could sense that he tried not to spoil the show, but he asked me to keep an open mind when I go see it. That seemed a rather odd comment to me at the time. An open mind is my default setting when I go see a show I have never seen, and I didn't think a reminder was necessary. It was only afterwards that I sort of understood where he was coming from, as the show got some mixed reviews and a YouTuber even used "pointless" to describe this show. Maybe that was why the ticket sale was not good, the show did not get any Tony Award nomination, and the show was closing after only ~3 months on Broadway. I think the biggest reason of the poor ticket sale was probably because the show was so sad. After spending so much on tickets, people probably just want to see something cheerful and have some happy memories. I don't like tragedy, either, but even after the show made me cry so much, I still think this show is a marvelous show.

A pure white stage was something that caught me off guard in the first place. Giant white boards of various sizes, together with a white floor with markings that looked like growth rings of a tree, the stage looked more like a setting for a post-modern dance performance😅. This dazzling white, I only realized after the show, was actually a terrific contrast with the dark night in the beginning of the show and the story it was telling. This is a story about loss. It is the saddest story in life. It is a story about a mother losing her child. The antagonist Jesse, played by Idina, consumed by the grief over the loss of her son Spencer almost one year ago, just dropped work one day without telling her lesbian partner Mel, and drove all the way from New York to a redwood forest in Northern California. She met arborists Finn and Becca there who were taking care of the redwoods. As she watched them climb a giant redwood, she got the idea that she wanted to climb the tree, too. Through the interactions with Finn, Becca, and the redwoods, a journey of healing began.

The first time that redwoods showed up on the stage, I was in awe. It turned out that the giant white boards were LED walls that brought the giant forest into the theater. Although the awe I felt was different from the way I experienced in the Sequoia & Kings Canyon National Parks in 2018, this is a cool way to bring nature into the theater! Besides, the curved design of the giant LED wall in the middle made it possible to rotate the wall and created a special way for entrance. Another great use of the giant LED walls was the instants of memories. In the darkness, a flash of white lightning cut the stage in half. It only takes an instant to think of a memory, and it only takes an instant to feel the pain of loss once again.

The story, music, lyrics, choreography, and the performance of this show were all so good. Although some people on the internet weren't impressed by Idina's performance, in the final performance I saw, Idina was no doubt a Broadway icon. There were two times where the audience was too passionate, and Idina had to break character in a jiff to interact with the audience, but she was able to quickly get back to the character again and lead the audience back to the story. Two of the three songs that made me cry in the show were sung by Idina's Jesse:

• The Stars -- A tender, sincere plea to the stars; asking them to help her sleep without worrying about the dreams she might have.

• No Repair -- It turned out that after graduating from USC, Spencer was "allergic" to work, and stayed at home for quite a while. A failure-to-launch situation. Finally Jesse and Mel had enough of it and gave Spencer an ultimatum and some money. Spencer decided to get back to California to look for a job. He died of overdose a few days after arriving in California. This song No Repair, happened when Jesse got the permission to sleep overnight on a platform in the redwood, and she sang her sorrow, self-blame, and despair, out into the dark forest. Jesse in mid-air, a dark theater, a beam of white light, and with only piano, a mother's heart broke into a million pieces and filled the darkness💔. "There is no end to your grief, because there is no end to your love." The super long note for "love" was just like the love of Jesse for Spencer, everlasting, but could only disappear into darkness😭😭😭.

• Still -- While Jesse was still up in the tree, a forest fire broke out. After she luckily survived the fire, Spencer appeared (should be Jesse's hallucination) and tried to appease Jesse, telling her that the overdose was an accident. Then he sang this song Still, hoping that she could move on and live a full life. Zachary Noah Piser's soothing, crisp voice is so fitting for this song. The lyrics nicely capture what Jesse must have felt from Spencer's viewpoint, and also remind Jesse that there is still much to live for.

The songs that didn't make me cry are also impressive, all full of the stories of the characters and the redwoods. Little Redwood sung by Khaila Wilcoxon's Becca weaves the 2000 years of growth of a redwood tree with human history. With tribal percussion music and a visual interpretation on the LED walls, the condensed timeline so well gives out a feeling of the smallness of humans, as well as the calmness emanating from a giant redwood that has weathered so many storms while still standing tall. Even though big dance numbers are not what this show has, the choreography still brings some sparks to the show, like for the tree climbing of Finn, Becca, and Jesse, and the little hip-hop dance by Mel and Spencer.

I was so glad that I got the ticket for the last show. Aside from the wonderful performance, I was lucky to hear first hand a speech from director Tina Landau. It was very elegant, and I put the transcription I made after the lyrics of Still. The director made 4 wishes based on redwoods, and below is my high level summary:

1. A wish that we all find the resilience like the redwoods to endure the difficulties -- Redwood is a rather fire-resistant tree. They even need forest fire to help their seed to come out of the cone and spread. After a forest fire, they see transformation and new life.

2. A wish that we take care of each other, for we are the strongest together -- Even though redwoods can grow to more than 100 meters (~300 feet), their roots are rarely more than 4 meters (~12 feet) deep. But their roots actually keep spreading in all directions. When the roots of a tree meet the roots of other trees, the roots become intertwined, and a giant web of roots forms. Such interconnectedness is what makes sure that every tree can stand tall and focus on growing upward.

3. A wish that we carry forward those who we lost -- The heartwood of a redwood, although being dead, still provides structural support for the tree to grow. Those who we have lost will never be gone and will still be part of us.

4. A wish that we become nutrients for others -- After a redwood tree dies, it takes centuries for the tree to decompose. During this time, the fallen redwood would nurture countless new lives. Hope we can all be a light in other people's lives.

This has become a very long post at this point, but I still feel that I have left out some wonderful details. This show is that big and full and deep. I have no idea what the Tony Award voters saw or missed. Redwood, the most gigantic hidden gem of the 2025 Tony Awards season. ❤️💔