Will be mine again

Waitress

Jul. 3, 2017 & Aug. 11, 2018 at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre

*** 有雷慎入 ***

是我第一個在百老匯上看的秀！是一個我還天真爛漫的時候🤣。第一份工作才開始半年多。從戰戰兢兢到慢慢上手，每天都在學新東西，但也覺得好像有慢慢追上大家，可以稍微放鬆一下。雖然很久以前開始就很喜歡音樂劇，但是學生時期的預算跟百老匯的票價真的是無緣。因緣際會下紐約只離工作的地方一個小時的車程，我還天真地以為再來應該可以常常看秀。第一次看百老匯我其實也沒有做太多功課，只聽說要買特價票的話可以到時代廣場上的TKTS，會有很好的折扣。結果剛好告示牌有點故障，看不清楚有什麼秀，我就直接請工作人員幫我推薦，所以才選了《Waitress》。而選位子又是另一個挑戰。工作人員有解釋有什麼樣的位子，價格是多少。但對於第一次要進百老匯劇院的我來說，根本對座位的排數編碼ABCD沒有概念。所以就胡亂選了中間價位好像要$80鎂的位子。結果雖然是一樓orchestra的位子，算是離舞台很近，但是是在左邊第一個，所以有一部份的視線會被擋住。不確定當初工作人員有沒有特別說，畢竟我對於秀的英文詞彙很有限😅。但看完秀的我整個大夢初醒，覺得如果只看到一半舞台的位子都要$80鎂的話，要看到整個舞台大概得吃白吐司過日子。所以跟百老匯的緣分好像沒有變深多少😭。不過雖然大半個舞台看不到，這第一次的百老匯體驗還是讓我覺得好喜歡。大家現場的唱功都好到一個不行。喜劇橋段跟大家一起現場看也更有趣。

《Waitress》 音樂劇是根據2007年的同名電影改編的。故事圍繞著Jenna，一個在美國南方小鎮餐廳當服務生的已婚婦女。Jenna其實不只是服務生，更是一個才華洋溢的甜派高手。店裡的各種奇怪特別的甜派名字，都跟她的生活經歷有關。故事開始沒多久，Jenna就因為想吐而被同事Becky和Dawn催著去驗孕。結果還真的是懷孕了。可是Jenna其實並不想要這個孩子。因為Jenna的老公Earl，是個有暴力傾向又愛喝酒的渣男。還會莫名出現在餐廳，想讓Jenna辭掉工作，卻又把Jenna的小費拿走還嫌少😡。所以Jenna決定不要告訴Earl她懷孕的事。在她第一次去婦產科檢查的時候，遇到了剛從康乃迪克州跟著老婆來到南方的Dr. Jim Pomatter。結果Dr. Pomatter吃了一口Jenna本來要送給原本醫生的派，就驚為天人。一連串的事件之後，兩人天雷勾動地火，展開了一段婚外情。誰叫Earl真的太糟糕，工作被開除不怪自己就算了，還要牽拖到Jenna，差一點動手。Jenna情急之下只好告訴Earl自己懷孕的事情。這樣一比之下，實在也很能理解Jenna為什麼會在Dr. Pommatter身上找到慰藉。

除了Jenna的感情生活，Becky和Dawn的故事也是音樂劇的重要支線，特別是Dawn的愛情故事更是本劇的喜劇擔當。Dawn身為三個人裡面最年輕的唯一單身女孩，對於愛情的擔憂還有跟古怪的相親對象Ogie的互動真的是有趣到不行。Becky則是個年紀稍長的中年婦女，自己的婚姻也是有一些問題，而她也堅定地外遇了🤣。而且身為外遇老手，當然也知道Jenna在外遇，但她選擇幫Jenna保守秘密。另一個溫柔守護Jenna的則是餐廳老闆Joe。Joe聽說了Jenna懷孕的事情之後，就推薦Jenna參加一個甜派比賽。頭獎兩萬美金的獎金應該可以讓Jenna可以離開Earl，有個新的開始。想不到Jenna為了比賽報名費，背著Earl偷偷藏的錢，就在比賽的前一個禮拜被Earl發現了。可憐的Jenna又再度必須面對Earl的暴怒，也只能騙Earl說她是在為了寶寶存錢。雖然Earl接受了，也還是把錢拿走了。Jenna就在這樣種重的打擊下唱了She Used to Be Mine這首歌。誠實地在歌詞裡說出了其實自己並不想要小孩。但是也是這個脆弱的Jenna，在第一次看到自己的小孩之後，即使沒有後盾還是毅然決定要離開Earl。

工作越久，就越覺得She Used to Be Mine這首歌實在是太適合上班族了。太多奇奇怪怪的事情，常常讓人懷疑人生。不過也許就像Jenna一樣，我們只是還在等待一個契機來找回那個勇敢的自己。最近很火紅的美劇《Off Campus》最後一集也有超感人的對話，女主角Hannah和她的好閨密Allie坦白她的故事，也說了她好想回到過去的那個自己。Allie跟她說：「我愛的Hannah是那個女孩(那個寫出清純愛情歌曲的女孩)，也是這個女孩(我眼前的女孩)，還有所有在這之間的女孩。因為妳不是只是一個妳，寶貝，妳是所有的妳。永遠不要忘記。」😭所以也許我們可以做的，就是慢慢等待，然後在等待的過程中，找機會去看《Waitress》！這個跟《Hamilton》一樣也有官方錄影版喔！希望大家看了都能找回一點勇氣💪。

She Used to Be Mine

https://youtu.be/A2-aUNmYNLM?si=3YyfMSGcE8y3Sp3G

It's not simple to say 說起來不簡單

That most days, I don't recognize me 但大部分的日子，我都認不出我自己

That these shoes and this apron 這雙鞋，和這個圍裙

That place and its patrons 那個地方，和那些顧客

Have taken more than I gave them 已經拿走了比我給的還要更多的東西

It's not easy to know 要知道也不容易

I'm not anything like I used to be 我跟以前的我一點都不一樣

Although it's true 雖然這是真的

I was never attention's sweet center 我從來不是焦點的中心

I still remember that girl 我仍然記得那個女孩

She's imperfect, but she tries 她不完美，但她很努力

She is good, but she lies 她是個好人，但她會說謊

She is hard on herself 她對自己很嚴格

She is broken and won't ask for help 她心碎了，但不找人幫忙

She is messy, but she's kind 她生活一團糟，但她很善良

She is lonely most of the time 她大部分的時間都很孤單

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie 她是這所有的一切攪在一起，烤成一個美麗的派

She is gone, but she used to be mine 她已經不在了，但她曾經屬於我

And it's not what I asked for 這不是我求來的

Sometimes life just slips in through a back door 但人生有時候就是會走後門

And carves out a person 把一部份的你帶走

And makes you believe it's all true 然後讓你相信一切都是真的

And now I got you 而我現在得到了妳

You're not what I asked for 妳不是我求來的

If I'm honest, I know I would give it all back 如果我實話實說，我知道我會想放棄一切

For a chance to start over 來得到一個從頭來過的機會

And rewrite an ending or two 然後重寫一個或兩個結局

For that girl that I knew 為了那個我曾經認識的女孩

Who was reckless just enough 那個莽撞得剛剛好的女孩

Who gets hurt 那個會受傷

But who learns how to toughen up 但學會變堅強的女孩

When she's bruised 當她瘀青

And gets used by a man who can't love 又被一個不懂得愛的男人利用

And then she'll get stuck 她會覺得被困住

And be scared of the life that's inside her 而且害怕身體裡的那個小生命

Getting stronger each day 害怕這個小生命一天一天更強壯

'Til it finally reminds her to fight just a little 直到小生命終於提醒她要努力

To bring back the fire in her eyes 努力把曾經在她眼裡的光找回來

That's been gone, but used to be mine 那個已經消失，但曾經屬於我的光

Oh, used to be mine 喔，曾經屬於我

She is messy, but she's kind 她生活一團糟，但她很善良

She is lonely most of the time 她大部分的時間都很孤單

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie 她是這所有的一切攪在一起，烤成一個美麗的派

She is gone, but she used to be mine 她已經不在了，但她曾經屬於我

Second time seeing the show. This time I got to see the entire stage.

*** Spoiler Alert ***

The first show I watched on Broadway! When I was still young and naive... 🤣 My first job just started about 6 months ago. I was pretty much on edge at work with serious imposter syndrome in the beginning but I felt that I was learning everyday and catching up nicely. Seemed like I could chill a little. Although I had liked musicals forever, Broadway shows were really out of reach for the budget of a student. As it happened, my first job was only a 1-hour drive from NYC — I foolishly believed I could go see Broadway shows frequently. For my first show on Broadway, to be honest, I didn't do much homework. I heard that if you wanted to get a good deal on the tickets, go to the TKTS booth on Times Square. And as it happened, the electric sign at the booth was not functioning properly and it was hard to see what tickets they had. So I asked the staff to recommend a show and that was how I ended up with Waitress. Seat selection was another challenge. The staff explained what seats were available and how much they were. But for someone going into a Broadway theater for the first time in my life, I didn't have any ideas about the row/seat numbers. So I did the seemingly sensible choice: middle price of all the options provided, which was probably ~USD$80. It turned out to be an orchestra seat, sort of close to the stage, but it was the first seat on the left — only (very) partial view. I wasn't sure if the staff reminded me of that, though, given that my theater vocabulary was very limited😅. After the show, I woke up from my dream of going to Broadway shows frequently. If partial view still meant $80, I probably would need to eat plain toast to get by. Broadway was still kind of out of reach😭. However, even with half of the stage being blocked from my view, my first Broadway experience was still magical. The singing was so good! Every single cast member! And the comedic moments were also more fun with the audience.

Waitress the musical is based on the 2007 movie of the same name. The story follows Jenna, a married waitress working at a local diner in the American South. Jenna is actually more than a waitress, she is also a master pie maker. The creative and special pie names at the diner are all related to her life stories. Not long after the show starts, Jenna is urged by her coworkers Becky and Dawn to take the pregnancy test after she almost throws up. The result? Positive. Jenna didn't really want to have the baby because her husband Earl, is a violence-prone and alcoholic scumbag. He also shows up at the diner out of the blue, toying with the idea of making Jenna quit on the one hand, but taking all the tips Jenna got while complaining it's too little on the other😡. So Jenna decides not to tell Earl about the pregnancy. At her first OB/GYN appointment, she meets Dr. Jim Pomatter, who just moved with his wife to the south from Connecticut. After Dr. Pomatter takes a bite of the pie that Jenna originally brought for her previous doctor, the chemistry starts. After a series of events, the sparks fly and the two start an affair. I'll have to say that Earl only has himself to blame here. Not only does he not feel any wrongdoing on his part when he got fired from work, he even blames it on Jenna and almost hits her. Out of fear of violence, Jenna has to confess she is pregnant. By comparison, Dr. Pomatter is sweet and nice so it is very understandable that Jenna would find solace in the doctor.

Other than Jenna's love life, Becky and Dawn's stories are two important branches of the show. Especially for Dawn, her love story is the comedic center of the musical. As the youngest and the only single waitress of the three, her worries about love and her interactions with her peculiar date Ogie create so many funny moments. As to Becky, she is a little older, with her own problems in her marriage, and she unapologetically chooses to cheat on her husband🤣. As someone familiar with having an affair, of course she knows Jenna is having one as well, and she chooses to keep it a secrete for Jenna. Another guardian that gently looks out for Jenna is the diner owner Joe. He hears about Jenna's pregnancy and recommends Jenna to enter a pie contest. The top prize of $20,000 should give Jenna a chance to leave Earl and have a new beginning. As fate would have it, the money/tips that Jenna has been hiding from Earl to save for the registration fee of the contest is discovered by Earl just 1 week before the contest. Poor Jenna has to face the fury of Earl again and the only defense she can have is to say that she was saving up for the baby. Even though Earl accepted Jenna's explanation, he still takes the money. This is where the torn down Jenna sings "She Used to Be Mine", where she confesses that she doesn't really want the baby. But it is also this vulnerable Jenna, who, after seeing the baby for the first time after giving birth, solemnly decides to leave Earl, even without a plan.

The longer I stay in the industry, the more I feel that "She Used to Be Mine" is such a fitting song. Countless strange and baffling events happen in the day-to-day work that make me wonder "Is this really happening?". But maybe just like Jenna, we are only short of a moment to help us find the courage in ourselves. The recent trending series Off Campus also has something along the same line in the last episode of season 1. The main character Hannah finally comes clean to her bestie Allie about her story, and says that she wants to be like the old her (who writes pure, happy love songs). Allie says to her: "The Hannah that I love is that girl. And this girl, and all the girls in between. Because you're not just one thing, babe. You're everything. Never forget that." 😭 So maybe what we can do, is to wait patiently, and while we wait, find a chance to see Waitress! It also has a filmed version like Hamilton! I hope we all find a little more courage in us after seeing the show💪.